Need advice on Chinese Wedding Customs

[myfs_146265]

I have some issue on the Chinese Wedding Customary and need advice.

After the customary, i will be living at my girlfriend's sister house.

On the wedding actual day... i suppose to go bride house to fetch her.. As there is someunforeseencircumstances, her parent house cannot be used and we decided to fetch her at her sister house. which mean we consider it as the bride house.

My parent felt that it not right to do it as it seems my future house and bride hse is the same!!! They say it is against thetraditional customs

Please advice whether it really conflictagainst thetraditional customs.

[Cecil Lee]

These are some of the considerations:-
1. What you mentioned is pretty subjective.
2. As you had mentioned, in the Chinese culture; our elders does have a large influence on our "lives" and customs. Thus, if your parents felt that it is not right; who is to tell them otherwise?
3. However, in modern times; we are marrying someone whom we fell in love and as you had mentioned, "some unforeseen circumstances". Since you did not mention what is the circumstances; and looks like there is no other alternatives; then given such a situation; traditionals are not etiched into stone sort of thing. I am sure even tradtional(s) can be flexible given such circumstances, rite?
4. In reality; what you are facing "your future house and bride house is the same"; is in my opinion; you are not the only Chinese couple that will "been" there; sort of thing. There are many before you facing such a situation.
5. Furthermore, I am sure, that some day; you will get your own home. It would be a pity if say a wedding be postphoned because of this one "tradition": what is considered worse-off? In my opinion, it is worst off to postphone the customary wedding if everything has been decided upon.
6. Alternatively; in this modern times; where international marriages are plentiful; your parents may again not agree; but some have held the "tea ceremony" at a hotel; as some brides are not even local ones or even if local; they prefer this to be held say at a "grand" hotel of sorts.
7. As mentioned, you are marrying her; and no "tradition" should be a barrier!
8. If you have posted this to a Singapore government site; I believe they would say: " to heck with tradition! " We need you to get married (like yesterday) and make lots of babies! We (Singapore) are very desperate for rejunivation via? new-borns; please!

Quote

On 9/29/2010 12:12:39 PM, Anonymous wrote:
I have some issue on the
Chinese Wedding Customary and
need advice.After the
customary, i will be living at
my girlfriend's sister
house.On the wedding actual
day... i suppose to go bride
house to fetch her.. As there
is
someunforeseencirc
umstances, her parent house
cannot be used and we decided
to fetch her at her sister
house. which mean we consider
it as the bride house.My
parent felt that it not right
to do it as it seems my future
house and bride hse is the
same!!! They say it is against
thetraditional
customsPlease advice
whether it really
conflictagainst
thetraditional customs.

[myfs_157844]

Chinese weddings become infused with Western traditions, traditional Western wedding gifts are more acceptable than before though the couple will rarely have a registry or release a list of wanted gifts. Be careful when selecting a gift and beware of what not to buy.