Cost of Chinese wedding

[moon88]

Dear cecil,
Are chinese wedding very expensive. How many
people are invited and how many days the celebration lasts? Which party(groom or bride) foots the wedding bill? Thanks.

[Cecil Lee]

Dear Anon,
Like all other races, celebrations depends very much on the `class' of a person. Such as the lower-income, the middle-income, the rich and the very rich.
Unfortuantely it is a fact that each `class' has its ability to celebrate weddings differently. some middle class may resort to borrowing to come to the same level of the rich etc...
Although we do not like to bring the subject of `class', this would affect the scope of celebrations.
1. In the past, many Chinese weddings are conducted as a group wedding. This is cheaper due to economies of scale and widely practised there.
2. Overseas Chinese prefer:
2.1. If they are Chinese Christians, may hold their weddings in Church. Depending on their budget or thinking, may further host a dinner celebrations.
2.2. If there is a Chinese dinner, the dinner is usually 9 course dinner.
The first dish is always a `cold dish' (assorted apetisers), you usually also have:
sharks fin soup
steamed fish
prawns
chicken or duck
sometimes yam or mushroom with vegetable or vegetable with scallops
noodles or fried rice
dessert such as longan or sweet yam etc...
2.3 During a typical wedding dinner, it is also the cutting of the cake, and pouring of wine into wine glass.
The bride and bride groom, will during part of the dinner, go up to their room and `change' of clothes.
3. Next, they will visit each table and everyone will propose a toast to the couple. Those very familiar with the couple (especially their classmates) will shout `Yam Seng' three times and as loud as possible for good luck.
4. Wedding tables range from a few to as many as 100 or 150 tables.
5. Before the wedding, the parents from both sides will meet and agree with the arrangements.
6. `Footing' of the bill will depend greatly on the wealth and particularly, how much `face' or how `proud' each family wants to be.
7. For example, if the groom's parents are well off and offers to pay for the entire dinner, then, there is no issue.
8. On the otherhand, the groom's parents will usually pay for all the bride's family's tables if they can.
9. Recently, I attended a wedding. My friend said that the bride's side offered to pay him for the `excess' tables they need.
For example, the parents of the groom offered 10 tables to the bride's family. The bride's family wanted to invite more. They `feel bad' and they agree to foot the bill.
10. In Singapore, an average 5 star hotel dinner costs approximately US$330.00 (inclusive of surcharges and tax).
On average, they receive like Ang Pow or Red packet of between US$30 to US$100 depending on how well the guest gives.
11. Thus, if one `play with their cash flow properly' and assuming that guests give an average of US$30/- they would have recouped the wedding dinner.
12. For example, after the dinner, one pays by Visa, Mastercard or American Express, they would recoup the money or some of it from the `Red Packets' given by guests.
13. Some traditional families may demand e.g. a whole roasted pig (especially the Cantonese dialect group.)
For the Teochews (bride side), they usually request for four `types of gold'.
Usually, it is common for the groom's side to provide as mentioned some gold jewellry to the wife's side.
14. Chinese weddings are short. Modern ones are similar to the west. Where, a day is devoted to the customary marriage.
15. On this same day as the wedding dinner, the bride groom and bride, offer tea during a tea ceremony to their elders.
Here, they will offer tea to their parents, uncles, aunties. Here, they will receive a red packet when they surve tea.
In the same way, they will sit on the chair and the younger ones e.g. their brothers / sisters will offer tea to the younger ones. Here, they will give `Red Packets.'
16. On the next Chinese New Year's day, it is their turn to start giving `Red packets' to their parents, brother's: sons; daughters, nephews and niece.
Thus it would be more advantages that they themselves have children. Here, their children would `earn back' Red packets. Rather than they giving them out. The more children the more, red packets one receive.
17. In Singapore, Malacca (a state in Malaysia) and other locations with `Babas', their wedding celebration could last easily more than 10 days.
`Babas' are Chinese who inter marry Malays or Javanese people. Unfortunately, they do not speak mandarin but rather Malay and Chinese dialects.
Warmest Regards,
Cecil

Quote

On 4/26/00 12:15:00 AM, Anonymous wrote:
Dear cecil,
Are chinese wedding very
expensive. How many
people are invited and how
many days the celebration
lasts? Which party(groom or
bride) foots the wedding bill?
Thanks.